Growing up with brothers and a single dad, (his Mom passed away when he was young) there wasn't much “feelings sharing” going on in my husband's childhood. If things aren't right between us, he tends to turn inward and not want to talk about the problem, just hopes it will go away. I was very interested in the weekly assignment to "watch for the ways your spouse turns towards you this week." Would he "turn towards" me? The results were shocking.
Not only did he turn towards me in little areas, such as helping with dinner, and taking the kids with him to basketball; he turned towards me in big areas by making me breakfast in bed on Valentine's Day and helping clean the kitchen (one of his least favorite activities) on a day that was crazy for me. When I was looking for the good, not only did I find it, it was easy to find and abundant! (I think Pollyanna has a quote like that:)
Being given this opportunity to “catch him” showing his love for me, will forever change what I look for in our marriage. Before this assignment I was unconsciously looking for signs that he didn't care about me. Please don't get me wrong, my husband is the man of my dreams, I have loved him ever since I was little. I think that very early in our marriage I started to believe I wasn't good enough for him. I didn't cook well enough, keep house as good as I should, play the piano, sing. That had to have been Satan putting those thoughts there. But I started to look for my husband's actions that reinforced what I believed. It actually makes me sad to realize how many years I have looked for the “turning away” moments instead of the “turning towards.” Thankfully because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I can repent and continue to acknowledge and be grateful for all the "turning towards" that is happening in my marriage. I am so thankful to Heavenly Father for this paradigm shift in my life and for blessing me with such a wonderful husband who does cherish me.
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