Marriage Models

Lacking in our society are marriages that stand out as models for others to follow. In the first place, it is hard to find people who have been married for a significant amount of time. When you do find a seasoned marriage, many times the relationship is not one that you would like to emulate. How can the younger generation hope to build strong marriages when good examples are hard to come by?

Elder David A. Bednar (Ensign June 2006) stated, “As men and women, as husbands and wives, and as Church leaders, one of our paramount responsibilities is to help young men and women learn about and prepare for righteous marriage through our personal example.” He goes on to list areas we can be examples in:

• worthiness
• loyalty
• sacrifice
• honoring covenants
• making comfort and convenience of your companion your highest priority
• mutual respect
• affection
• trust
• love

I was blessed to have the model of my Grandpa and Grandma Hatch's “covenant” marriage. They were married in the Temple for time and all eternity and spent 67 years loving and forgiving each other. I watched them put the needs and comfort of their spouse above their own. I saw how fiercely loyal they were to each other.  Many times Grandma counseled me to cleave unto my husband and above all to be loyal to him. “If you are upset with him, go kneel down and tell Heavenly Father five things you love about your husband and then counsel with the Lord about the problem you are having and no one else!” Their example has blessed countless lives and inspired others to seek the joy that comes from a covenant marriage.

Our society is full of contractual marriages where each spouse will only give as much as they feel they are getting from the other person.  We desperately needs more covenant marriages where each spouse is willing to give 100%. (Hafen, B. 1996)  What I've found in my own life is when I am focused on loving and serving others, it brings happiness and joy to my own life. I need to apply that more to my own marriage and make my husband's “comfort and convenience my highest priority.” According to Elder Bednar this will bless our children as well: “As young people notice that we have made the comfort and convenience of our eternal companion our highest priority, then they will become less self-centered and more able to give, to serve, and to create an equal and enduring companionship.” I commit this week to doing that!