Family Capstone Write-Up

I decided to do a blog for my Capstone project because I wanted a place to record all the wonderful things I was learning or re-learning. I have been a converted member of the church my entire life, but studying the Proclamation and the companion talks by prophets and apostles deepened my understanding and testimony of the vital importance of the Family. What a blessing, especially at this time in my life as a full-time mother, to truly come to understand how important my role is. Every section we studied gave me added desire to fulfill my role as wife and mother, in the Lord's way.

In my typical day I do not receive many accolades. No one is there saying, “Way to change those diapers!” Or “Good job keeping your kids alive today!” I believe Heavenly Father inspired me to take this class at this time, so that every day as I studied, I could feel His love for me and know that I was doing exactly what He would have me do...striving to build an Eternal Family!

Protect the Family!

The definition of the "traditional family" is changing in our society.  I believe that "God has commanded that marriage be between a man and woman lawfully wedding as husband and wife."  I believe this because I believe the family is eternal.  We were a family before we came to earth, we create our eternal family while on the earth, and if we live worthy we will be blessed to live as families eternally.  Happiness is to be found in our families.  After completing this course, there are two main areas where I want to focus and expand more. Those areas are my own marriage and my role as a mother.

In studying about Adam and Eve and their interactions with each other I learned a lot about what it takes to have a strong marriage.  I need to evaluate my life and see how to better heed the counsel to labor and pray together. In Moses 5 we learn that Adam and Even had to work very hard, "by the sweat of their brow" to survive on Earth.  But, that they "labored together".  It goes on to say that they called on God "together".  Adam and Eve worked and prayed together.  This was contrasted by their time in the garden.  They were both alone when tempted by Satan to partake of the forbidden fruit.  Elder Bednar stated, "Given what we know about our enemy's intent, each of us should be especially vigilant in seeking personal inspiration as to how we can protect and safeguard our own marriages." (Bednar, 2006)  I will work harder at being selfless in my marriage.

My role as a mother is very important to me.  I am so grateful for our family.  Our first two children came very quickly and very easily into our lives.  I took being a mother for granted.  It took over five years for #3 to join our family.  The good thing about that waiting period was it made me realize how much I loved being a mother and it was the "career" I wanted more than anything.  It is challenging, but oh so fulfilling.  I have the opportunity to love and serve Heavenly Father's children, to help them learn and navigate through this life.  It is easy to get distracted and forget what is really important.  My family is the most important thing to me and I will work each day to teach and show love to each of my children.

Happiness in Family Life

One of the biggest take-aways I had from this section was the importance of being consistent as parents.  Elder Bednar taught, "Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. But just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results."

Reading this quote from Elder Bednar's talk gave me hope!  It is true that our family is the happiest when we are consistently having family prayer, family scripture study and Family Home Evening.  But many nights, as I review my day before I kneel to pray, I find myself going over all the areas I am letting slip through the cracks.  For the most part, we are consistent in our morning and evening family prayers, family scripture study and Family Home Evenings.  But sometimes, those prayers are rushed through as we are late running out the door, scripture study is just a verse or two because Dad got home late and all the Littles are beyond tired, and our FHE's are hit and miss in keeping the attention of the  6, 5, 3, & twin 1 year-olds, and still meeting the spiritual needs of the 14 & 12 year olds.  Elder Bednar went on to quote D&C 64:33:

We don't have it together, but we don't give up and I pray that God will make up the difference for us as we continue to consistently keep his commandments!

"Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."   

Caving with the Rasmussens 

Family Hike in Madera Canyon

Checking out the drones

Horseshoe Bend - Creed almost fell over the edge, we won't be back there for awhile!

Loving the monsoons!

Date night to a U of A football game

Law of Chastity and Sanctity of Life

"We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."  (Proclamation)

President Spencer W. Kimball said, "Sexual experiences were never intended by the Lord to be a mere plaything or merely to satisfy passions and lusts."  That is a bold statement that does not fit in line with what the world teaches.  Right now the world says that sexual experiences are to bring gratification to the individual.  As long as it feels good to you, it is appropriate.  In all honesty, I used to think that one of the reasons that we got married is so that you could "righteously" satisfy your own desire for physical stimulation.  Satan wants us to believe that we are entitled to fulfill our own selfish desires.  The truth is there are two purposes for marital intimacy.  As taught by Elder Scott (1994), "One purpose of this private, sacred, intimate experience is to provide the physical bodies for the spirits Father in Heaven wants to experience mortality.  Another reason for these powerful and beautiful feelings of love is to bind husband and wife together in loyalty, fidelity, consideration of each other, and common purpose."  I love that concept of intimacy being the way to bind husband and wife and bring unity to the relationship.  It all comes about through selflessness and each spouse putting the others needs above their own.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, as President of BYU in 1989 gave a landmark talk about chastity.  It's long but worth the read or watch.

http://www.familylifeeducation.org/gilliland/procgroup/Souls.htm

Covenants & Ordinances

"Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally."  (Proclamation)

 Elder Christofferson taught, "The Apostle Paul understood that one who has entered into covenant with God is both given the faith to face trials and gains even greater faith through those trials."  "Therefore I take pleasure in my infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distress for Christ's sake:

www.95percent.com.

President Packer adds, "Ordinances and covenants become our credentials for admission into His presence.  To worthily receive them is the quest of a lifetime; to keep them thereafter is the challenge of mortality."  

Entering into covenants does not mean that our lives will be free from trials, challenges and temptations, in fact it will probably increase those because the adversary does not want us to succeed.  But, because of those covenants, we are given power to overcome any adversity and in the end, live with our families forever.  I know that because of the ordinances and covenants that I have entered into with God (baptism, confirmation, temple endowment, and the marriage sealing) I have received strength and help to meet the challenges that life brings.  I also know that through making and keeping of covenants are families can be together forever!

Gender & Eternal Identity

Quotes from Elder David A. Bednar's talk Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan,

• "Gender is an essential characteristics of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose" and in large measure defines who we are, why we are here upon the earth, and what we are to do and become.  For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary." 
•  "The man and woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way."  
• "As a husband and wife are each drawn to the Lord, as they learn to serve and cherish one another, as they share life experiences and grow together and become one, and as they are blessed through the uniting of their distinctive natures, they begin to realize the fulfillment that our Heavenly Father desires for His children.  Ultimate happiness, which is the very object of the Father's plan, is received through the making and honoring of eternal marriage covenants.

I am grateful that Nicholas is my eternal companion.  I have loved him since I was young and continue to grow more in love with him each passing year.  In this busy time of life; each day, week, and year we have to work at being united.  In learning that we are "different, distinctive and complementary" it taught me that we are meant to be different.  We can learn and grow together not in spite of our differences, but because of them!

Eternal Truths

I was talking to a great friend who stated something to the fact that, "You can't really know if something is true."  I had to respectfully disagree.  President Uchtdorf (2013) asked, "Is it possible to know truth?" He went on to teach, "The thing about truth is that it exists beyond belief.  It is true even if nobody believes it.  We can say west is north and north is west all day long and even believe it with all our heart, but if, for example, we want to fly from Quito, Ecuador, to New York City in the United States, there is only one direction that will lead us there, and that is north-west just won't do."

A truth that I do know is "the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children."  (The Proclamation)  I also know that having and raising a family is not always easy, it can be very difficult at times.  In a talk to BYU entitled The Family, I appreciated President Eyrings's honesty in declaring that it would cost effort, pain and sacrifice to have an eternal family.

 He says, "The words of the proclamation make it clear to receive those blessings requires some sort of perfecting experiences."  This has been very apparent in my life this last year.  I have had many "perfecting experiences" that have humbled me and reminded me that I cannot do it alone.  It's so easy for me to fall into the pattern of relying on myself instead of the Savior.  President Eyring continued, "...so of course what He wants for us will require help beyond our powers.  That feeling of our inadequacy can make it easier to repent and to be ready to rely on the Lord's help."  I can testify that I have had heavenly help.  I know that He cares about our families and is just a prayer away.  He will send help to anyone who will ask Him for it.  I am grateful for the forgiveness that the atonement makes possible and also the strengthening power it provides in my life to do those things that God would have me do.