Humility and Gratitude

Principle 4: Let Your Partner Influence You
"...Emotionally intelligent (spouses) have figured out the one big thing: how to convey honor and respect."  (John Gottman)

What would keep someone from conveying honor and respect to the person they chose for their companion?

PRIDE!

• "Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves." (President Ezra Taft Benson. "Beware of Pride")
• "Selfishness is one of the most common faces of pride. "How everything affects me" is the center of all that matters--self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking."  (Benson)
• "We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them." (Benson)
• "It assumes that my needs are to be met--and my spouse must do whatever is necessary to assure that they are met." (H. Wallace Goddard)
• "The proud do not receive counsel or direction easily.  Defensiveness is used by them to justify and rationalize their frailties and failures." (Benson)

How do we push back against our culture of individualism and find happiness in our marriages?

CHOOSE TO BE HUMBLE!!

• "Humility is the friend of truth.  Humility opens us up to the experience of others and to truth from heaven."  (Goddard)
• Conquer enmity toward our (spouse), esteem them as ourselves, and lift them as high or higher than we are.
• Receive counsel and chastisement.
• Forgive those who have offended us.
• Render selfless service.
• Confess and forsake our sins and be born of God.
• Love God, submit our will to His, and put Him first in our lives.

What can we do when we cannot compel ourselves to be humble?

PRACTICE GRATITUDE!!!

• "It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened down with sorrow should give thanks to God.  But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding."  (Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, 2014.)

(Click here for President Benson's talk "Beware of Pride" and here for President Uchtdorf's talk "Grateful in Any Circumstance")